Aunt Steve's

from The Whole Nine Yards by Eugene Tooms

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lyrics

A priest and a nun walked into a pub
And they sat on the stools at the bar
Black Tooth Tom who was hot on the run
Well he stood up and spat in a jar


He walked to the two, “Man what he's gonna do”
Thought Misty “the widow” McKay
He took off his hat and cleared his throat
And he had the following to say:


’Scuse me Father… Evenin’ ma’am
I’d like a confession to make
See I’m a bad man

If you could forgive all my sins
Before all these folks
Right here at Aunt Steve’s


The priest told Tom: “Well, this ain’t a church son
Won’t you come back tomorrow instead?”
“Father, I fear by the time I’d be there
I might have my head high on a spear”


“Come outta there Tom!” yelled the sheriff of town
He was 60 and hard as a stone
Black Tooth smiled, well he almost got out
Though he longed for a final shootout


’Scuse me Father… forgive me ma’am
I won’t have a confession at all
’Cuz I’m a bad man

You could never forgive all my sins
’Cuz Imma kill these folks
Right here at Aunt Steve’s


Gunshots!
A hat drops
(The lawman was dead, and he hit the ground)

Gunshots
Oh God!
(Everyone froze, no one made a sound)


The priest just stared
As Black Tom left
He was the last man standing
He was heading southwest
“White men…” said a native
“Have too many chiefs
But not here at Aunt Steve’s”

credits

from The Whole Nine Yards, released August 23, 2019

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Eugene Tooms Budapest, Hungary

Eugene Tooms is a three piece fuzz rock band from Budapest, Hungary. Combining the influences of Clutch, Queens of the Stone Age, Red Fang, 1000mods, and others, the band strives to create a unique sound of their own, balancing between feel-good and hard hitting riffing, and occasional psychedelia. ... more

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